I’m writing this post as compensation for not being able to see the latest series of The Walking Dead. Hopefully I’ll be able to download it soon, but in the meantime my boyfriend have become a bit obsessed with a zombie apocalypse. We aren’t stock piling food yet, but there have been discussions about what we would stockpile and the importance of making sure one of us has a can opener in their back pack.
And we have been visiting castles.
Let’s see them get a tank across that moat.
There’s loads of castles in the UK and all with moats, walls, parapets and murder holes. They also come with enough land to keep you own vegetable patch. There’s no zombies getting in if you don’t want them to. So while the kids were running round with their wooden swords playing at knights, the boyfriend and I were outlining complex defence strategies including the flooding of moats and building a trebuchet for flinging zombie heads.
It’s a refreshing flight from the day to day hamster wheel of life. Just think, a zombie apocalypse means no work, no mortgage and freedom from things like thinking about when you have time to get your hair cut (I’d take a knife to my own overly thick, frizzy locks in an instant), or do the weekly shop. Surviving a zombie apocalypse means you’d have nothing but time to do the weekly shop, what with being reduced to hunter/gatherer/scavenger status. And I will, of course, survive.
I’m concerned that I find the idea of a zombie apocalypse so liberating. Ignoring the constant threat of death my own zombie apocalypse is a fantasy of freedom and redefining myself.
When the Governor comes along though there may be more of a problem, what with castles under siege never faring well when the food and fresh water runs out. We didn’t go as far as drawing lots to see which one of us would resort to cannibalism first, but it did give me some food for thought.
I live in Kent and my family is north of the river so the only way I could get to them would be over the Queen Elizabeth Bridge. That stretch of the M25 looks like there has been a zombie apocalypse every afternoon at rush hour. Seriously, I’d never see them again.
Perhaps if I want the freedom to redefine myself I shouldn’t wait for a zombie apocalypse. Perhaps I should get my head out of dream world and start now. First thing I need to do is find time to get my hair cut.
What about you? How would you survive a zombie apocalypse? Would you rather take the one ring to Mordor than commute to work? Let me know below (no spoilers please.)